Loyalty to your family. How does it affect our lives?
Loyalty is one of the most powerful forces that affect a person's personality and life. Any relationship is based on mutual loyalty of people to each other. To be accepted,…

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It's simple. About family rituals and traditions
Working with family (and its subsystems separately: husband + wife, parent + child, and other diverse set of "deuce"/"Troika") I often touch themes family rituals and traditions. "What traditions do…

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Adoption of parents. Stages of living
Acceptance is letting go of a situation, completing the process of grieving for the loss of something important to us. Loss of illusions, that will as we want, not so…

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“arriving” affects

Family vampires: one controls, the other sabotages

I’m sure it’s really very hard and unpleasant, when you are used as a trash can for the disposal of negative emotions. And in his own home.

But what does control have to do with it? Let’s see where the controllers come from-fans of the apartment scale.

For example, in the parent family, a person had blurred boundaries. This means that the excitement went freely from one family member to another and in a circle, closing most often on the child. Under the excitation of I mean exclusively characteristic of neural processes, most often it manifests itself in the form of anxiety.

Take a specific situation. For example, the mother wronged mother-in-law, mother got angry, felt worthless, a bad mother and the list goes on. It is with this anger she could not cope. And then she caught sight of a child. Of course, it was all his fault. He’s misbehaving, thus giving a reason to devalue my grandmother’s mother (i.e. his sister-in-law). And here is “extreme” becomes already child: he or she feels bad boy or girl. Especially if mom said something like, “useless daughter” or “Terrible son of mine.”

But the mother directly and not to swear, and begin to very much worry about what the child coughs, later returns home, not learning… well, no matter what it is – the main thing is to survive. Continue reading

Marriage of convenience: the truth about a relationship without feelings
Is there any sense in a marriage of convenience in contemporary reality? On this topic argues Gestalt therapist Andrew Yudin. There is such an interesting phenomenon in psychology: human stereotypes…

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"Pregnant together": how to survive nine months and not get divorced
Advice from a family psychologist for those whose marital relationship is being tested by pregnancy. Relationships in a couple – a complex process and sometimes confusing, and if the couple…

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Looking for the perfect man
I don't want to write about men. And, first of all, about parents. Oil painting: an ideal, pure soul mother who put life on the child, nurtured, nurtured, raised, gave…

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Typology of family crises
The prenuptial period of the relationship is extremely important for their subsequent stability. The most important condition is the presence of a period of love, with all his characteristic uncritical…

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