The art of raising a slave
Have you noticed that adults often treat children as an uncomfortable object, which greatly complicates their parental existence? Like an annoying fly that you have to fend off, like a…

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Invisible girl, or Cigarettes in exchange for mom's love
Deaf, stupid, impotent rage covered Olga with a concrete slab. Can't breathe, can't get enough air. How tired she was of all these papers, people, negotiations, endless parental "need", "we…

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"Pregnant together": how to survive nine months and not get divorced
Advice from a family psychologist for those whose marital relationship is being tested by pregnancy. Relationships in a couple – a complex process and sometimes confusing, and if the couple…

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emotions

Diagnosis: depreciation. How to live?

The idea of this article hovered in the air for a long time, supported by doubts and non-existent grievances. Increasingly, I began to pull out of the context of “do not worry” and “Yes, it’s not worth it”, “come on, nothing special”, “everyone happens”. It’s about depreciation.

The most classic examples of this disease can be seen on the Playground:

– Mom, look what my castle turned out!
– Are you sure it’s a castle? More like a dead dinosaur.
(depreciation of actions)

– Dad, I belloooo aaiei I parayil palcic!
– Well, okay, you’re a kid or is that something different?
(devaluation of emotions)

Not far gone and school: Continue reading

It’s simple. About family rituals and traditions

Working with family (and its subsystems separately: husband + wife, parent + child, and other diverse set of “deuce”/”Troika”) I often touch themes family rituals and traditions.

“What traditions do you have in your family/couple?”When did they arise?”Who brought them?”Do you like them?””What do you like to do together?””Are there any special rituals in your family?”– these and other issues highlight the important bonding threads that give strength to the family fabric.

It happens that traditions, as well as family rules (unspoken), pass from the parent family unconsciously, are taken as a given, in this case it is useful to look at them more closely. How useful are they? Do we really need them for our couple, children, the family as a whole? Do we want to keep them? It is also important to reconsider the tradition with the development of the family: age-related changes, needs change, changes in family composition. Continue reading

The art of raising a slave

Have you noticed that adults often treat children as an uncomfortable object, which greatly complicates their parental existence? Like an annoying fly that you have to fend off, like a little villain that you have to deal with at all costs and who, in turn, only thinks how to make our lives unbearable… As if we are talking about the fact that we are all angels who understand, and they are worthless imperfections that it is important to make convenient for their own use. Yes, true, and not for use. So… if only not interfered…

And not to interfere it is necessary to create a clear code-what is and what is not, what is good for the child and what is bad. Hence-a huge number of adult statements, beginning with the words “the child should”. Must understand, must eat, must learn, must know, must respect. Must, Must and must.

You agree? And you look at the parent forums. And compare them… medieval advice for the upbringing of a slave.

I read: “judging by the description, your three-year-old daughter is already a very depraved girl. If she is unable to meet the demands of adults, something must be done about it. The best thing that came up with our ancestors – of course, spanking” (three smileys). Continue reading

Looking for the perfect man
I don't want to write about men. And, first of all, about parents. Oil painting: an ideal, pure soul mother who put life on the child, nurtured, nurtured, raised, gave…

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Five reasons why unloved daughters choose the wrong partners
"How come I married a man who is a copy of my mother? It seemed that he did not look like her, and in the end – just like her.…

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Happy family model: where to get it?
The ability to model, imitate, adopt the skills of other people is one of the basic skills of any person. Let us remember how a small child learns: he watches.…

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Such a common story...
Part 1. Lyrical She calls her mother every day – morning and evening. She is the woman of a little over thirty, successfully (happily?) married, with two educations, now on…

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