I hate my sister
About jealousy between siblings (siblings) used to speak as a normal feeling. No one perceives it as a kind of imbalance, rather we tend to consider it as a necessary…

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Psychological problems of marriage
As you know, "all happy families are similar to each other, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." So how do happy families resemble each other? And so…

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Formula of love for prisoners of marriage
Have you ever thought about the beautiful phrase" Marriages are made in heaven", the key word "are made"? "Prisoner – a person who is in the place of detention, in…

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emotions

Diagnosis: depreciation. How to live?

The idea of this article hovered in the air for a long time, supported by doubts and non-existent grievances. Increasingly, I began to pull out of the context of “do not worry” and “Yes, it’s not worth it”, “come on, nothing special”, “everyone happens”. It’s about depreciation.

The most classic examples of this disease can be seen on the Playground:

– Mom, look what my castle turned out!
– Are you sure it’s a castle? More like a dead dinosaur.
(depreciation of actions)

– Dad, I belloooo aaiei I parayil palcic!
– Well, okay, you’re a kid or is that something different?
(devaluation of emotions)

Not far gone and school: Continue reading

It’s simple. About family rituals and traditions

Working with family (and its subsystems separately: husband + wife, parent + child, and other diverse set of “deuce”/”Troika”) I often touch themes family rituals and traditions.

“What traditions do you have in your family/couple?”When did they arise?”Who brought them?”Do you like them?””What do you like to do together?””Are there any special rituals in your family?”– these and other issues highlight the important bonding threads that give strength to the family fabric.

It happens that traditions, as well as family rules (unspoken), pass from the parent family unconsciously, are taken as a given, in this case it is useful to look at them more closely. How useful are they? Do we really need them for our couple, children, the family as a whole? Do we want to keep them? It is also important to reconsider the tradition with the development of the family: age-related changes, needs change, changes in family composition. Continue reading

The art of raising a slave

Have you noticed that adults often treat children as an uncomfortable object, which greatly complicates their parental existence? Like an annoying fly that you have to fend off, like a little villain that you have to deal with at all costs and who, in turn, only thinks how to make our lives unbearable… As if we are talking about the fact that we are all angels who understand, and they are worthless imperfections that it is important to make convenient for their own use. Yes, true, and not for use. So… if only not interfered…

And not to interfere it is necessary to create a clear code-what is and what is not, what is good for the child and what is bad. Hence-a huge number of adult statements, beginning with the words “the child should”. Must understand, must eat, must learn, must know, must respect. Must, Must and must.

You agree? And you look at the parent forums. And compare them… medieval advice for the upbringing of a slave.

I read: “judging by the description, your three-year-old daughter is already a very depraved girl. If she is unable to meet the demands of adults, something must be done about it. The best thing that came up with our ancestors – of course, spanking” (three smileys). Continue reading

Mom doesn't have (memo adult children)
Separation is not a one-sided process, but often we (and I too) talk a lot about parents who are not ready, can not, keep, do not let go. About mothers…

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Irina Mlodik: "old Age – it's time to get paid"
Is it possible to prepare for your own old age and how to behave with elderly relatives? This is the story of a psychologist, author of books and articles on…

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Typology of family crises
The prenuptial period of the relationship is extremely important for their subsequent stability. The most important condition is the presence of a period of love, with all his characteristic uncritical…

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Loyalty to your family. How does it affect our lives?
Loyalty is one of the most powerful forces that affect a person's personality and life. Any relationship is based on mutual loyalty of people to each other. To be accepted,…

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