In order to endure childish affection, which may seem clingy and annoying, as well as children’s affects like outbursts of hatred for younger brothers and sisters, and children’s whims, and discontent about a variety of inconveniences, and even more so attacks of anger towards yourself (parent), about prohibitions and other unpopular decisions, you need to have a pretty impressive container.
That is, you need a mental space with which you could endure, withstand these direct, associated with the natural development of the child, experiences.
Endure them without self-destruction (suffering what you can not tolerate) or the destruction of the child (prohibiting his experiences, and suppressing it).
However, if you do not have the experience of careful handling of your children’s processes, that is, when you were a child, you could not stand your feelings and affection, then most likely, your mental container is full of your own not expressed feelings, and those feelings that your teachers put in you – for example, shame and guilt for their badness. Continue reading