Hierarchy is one of the parameters of the family system, designed to establish order, to determine the affiliation, authority, power in the family and the degree of influence of one family member on others.
One of the provisions of the hierarchy is that in the family the parents are responsible for the children and have all the power in the nuclear family. In my article I want to consider some variants of deviations from this norm and their consequences.
Triangulation is an emotional process between two people that tends to involve a third in a relationship. In a broken family where internal boundaries are blurred, parents can sometimes make children their emotional partners. This is an inverted hierarchy, in which the status of the child in the family is equal to the parent. Continue reading
The decision not to contact a family member is deeply personal.
For some of us, healing a mother’s wound is only possible through contact with the mother. In this scenario, healing creates a new, deeper connection between mother and daughter – and that’s infinitely beautiful. I’ve seen it happen, and it’s really inspiring.
But for some of us, it is impossible to heal by staying in contact with the mother.
The removal of a member of the family is still considered taboo, especially if we are talking about mother. Sometimes a short distance and a short suspension are enough. In other cases, the suspension may be permanent. It takes incredible strength and courage to get through this.
What could lead to suspension?
There are many reasons why people make this decision. But the root of it is the realization that your mother’s dysfunctional behavior is costing you your emotional and mental balance, and you are no longer able to pay the price. Continue reading