The husband is often found in the projection of the father, these two figures, in the perception of women, interwoven into one. If father was brutal – husband is perceived intolerant and evil. If the father did not give something, in the husband, first of all, greed is seen. If the father was estranged, and the husband and wife case no.
In General, the relationship with his father is about prospects, success in life, about relationships with men, about financial prosperity. Question: who is your father, means, ultimately, who are you?
On consultation the woman “for forty”, tells that at the husband pneumonia, the ambulance took away it to hospital, on her face tears flow… I sympathize, but, to my surprise, it turns out that the reason of her crying not fears for health of the husband, she grieves for the father who died a year ago.
Wiping tears and sobbing, the woman tells the circumstances of her birth. That the father wanted a son and was disappointed by the appearance of his daughter. And that after she was born, he left home for two weeks. And mom thought he’d never come back. Continue reading
In fact, the separation of women is not a prerequisite for a happy marriage, as much as the separation of men from their mothers, but, of course, it is a desirable condition.
The necessary conditions for a happy marriage is:
A mother-seraped man. After all, Taim man is difficult to manipulate and manage and such a man will not do it himself;
Woman, free from interact ( settings, beliefs, values) that it is incomplete without a man. That is, it is a woman who feels great as a couple with a man, and without it. After all, such a woman is difficult to manipulate and manage. And a woman like that wouldn’t do that.
And yet, back to the topic of women’s separation, as many of my readers are asked to talk about this process.
In fact, the separation process is much more difficult for girls. Why?
The boy before adolescence is identified with his mother and he will be separated from the mother figure and identified with the father figure in adolescence. Everything is so simple here. Continue reading
Loyalty is one of the most powerful forces that affect a person’s personality and life. Any relationship is based on mutual loyalty of people to each other. To be accepted, “their”, need to confirm any community – I one of you, I as you, I look like. And what do we get in return and how do we pay for our loyalty?
The power of loyalty in the family
The strongest manifestation of loyalty can be seen in the family. It works like this: the child recognizes his parents. This primarily means that he is attached to them. Children identify themselves by their parent. The child grows up and tries to be like mom and dad. If you artificially remove one figure, it will be difficult for the child to recognize and accept himself.
The stronger the prohibition to show loyalty to parents, the stronger the internal need to do it. From the inability to love and be tied to a child can develop a borderline personality warehouse, there is self-destructive behavior, difficulties in close contact with people, difficulties in perceiving others and themselves holistic.
The balance of loyalty to father and mother
Much depends on the rules of the family, but the child’s love for the father and mother is distributed approximately equally. When mom and dad are together, he’s protected. When parents break up, for a child at any age, it is the collapse of integrity. Continue reading