12 ways to forgive grievances parents
Do I need to talk to my parents about the past? And what if they deny everything? How to forgive a deceased parent and is it possible to discern in…

Continue reading →

Loyalty to your family. How does it affect our lives?
Loyalty is one of the most powerful forces that affect a person's personality and life. Any relationship is based on mutual loyalty of people to each other. To be accepted,…

Continue reading →

Beliefs that shape co-dependence
I remembered a distant childhood. Anything I say ideas, opinions, views, objections close ended met with "what you know...", "you're a baby, you warthog". I felt devalued and humiliated, ashamed…

Continue reading →

girl

Invisible girl, or Cigarettes in exchange for mom’s love

Deaf, stupid, impotent rage covered Olga with a concrete slab. Can’t breathe, can’t get enough air. How tired she was of all these papers, people, negotiations, endless parental “need”, “we must”, “at any cost”, “we have no right to let the client”, “our reputation must be impeccable”. A few short, hot puffs. Catches my throat… And lets go.

She is stifling in this small, self-contained world of their strong and respected family company, whose reputation is above all. It’s stifling to be with your parents, so proper and honest. So close and so unattainable.

She’s still waiting to be loved, to be heard, to see the real her. Living. She lives. No matter how much they turn her into an obedient biorobot, she’s alive. Yet. And still needs a living human love. Not in maintaining life, not in cold, indifferent, mechanical and selfish “care”, and in love. Their love.

With this company Olga was married since infancy. Any other way of life and the fate of the parents for it is not represented. All she had to do was learn. Learn, master the family business and be worthy of your family. Be like them.

Olina’s mother was always an excellent student. And in school, and in Institute. She had no idea how you can not learn a lesson and get a four. It was unthinkable to her. Continue reading

"Why didn't you leave me?!"Notes of the psychotherapist
My wife and I haven't slept together in 8 years. – He said he jumped into the hole. Almost there. Apparently, long leader was coming with the spirit of, to…

...

It's simple. About family rituals and traditions
Working with family (and its subsystems separately: husband + wife, parent + child, and other diverse set of "deuce"/"Troika") I often touch themes family rituals and traditions. "What traditions do…

...

"Pregnant together": how to survive nine months and not get divorced
Advice from a family psychologist for those whose marital relationship is being tested by pregnancy. Relationships in a couple – a complex process and sometimes confusing, and if the couple…

...

Marriage of convenience: the truth about a relationship without feelings
Is there any sense in a marriage of convenience in contemporary reality? On this topic argues Gestalt therapist Andrew Yudin. There is such an interesting phenomenon in psychology: human stereotypes…

...