– My mother continues to own my life. I resent that! What am I to do?
– How old are You?
– You live with your mother?
– No, she bought me and my husband an apartment.
– Who issued?
– She, she’s afraid we’ll break up and he’ll take half.
– Are you financially independent from your mother?
Not really. I’m not working, I have a child for almost three years, and with gardens to the problem. And actually, I think that a woman should be with child, to create coziness at home!
Yeah, right. And my mother still helps somehow?
– Well, she takes her granddaughter when I need to go out or get some rest. Give gifts. We also went to Cyprus for my birthday, and my daughter was left with her. Sometimes he buys delicious food, we go to the clinic together, I am very worried, now such doctors, horror. Continue reading
The good news is that we can close this unpleasant topic once and for all. The bad news is that you have to grow up very quickly, and – surprise! – to abandon some of their stereotypical expectations.
Don’t expect mom to understand.
While the baby is very small, mom really has a lot to understand: he is cold or hungry, he is interested or he is tired… But the older the person becomes, the harder it desires and the less debt remains at mom’s. In the end, mom is also a person with her own views and limitations, with her life position, and it may not coincide with yours. It’s life.
You can argue your views, but do not get involved in endless disputes! It makes no sense: if mom does not agree with your arguments, it is unlikely to convince her. Fortunately, even in this case, all is not lost.
Normally: with age, a person becomes more independent – but, as you know, sometimes the age comes alone. If you can not provide yourself with the most necessary, including housing and food, the hope that your arguments will be listened to, is rapidly melting. Continue reading
Separation is not a one-sided process, but often we (and I too) talk a lot about parents who are not ready, can not, keep, do not let go. About mothers who tie, afraid of loneliness and uselessness, and whose world is centered around children. We used to believe that parents have a lot of responsibility for the quality of life of their children.
But there are also children who do not leave.
To leave, to leave, and sometimes, if it is necessary for survival – to leave is a task of the grown-up children if they want to find the way. And this is often much more complicated.
Because if the parents are comfortable and warm, more than uncomfortable, the impulse to “break away from” is difficult to be born, to form.
And if the parents are difficult, cold and painful, I really want to believe that it can change and I can influence it. Children’s omnipotence has not been canceled, and it is able to hold strong emotionally near parents, even physically you will be Oh how far.
Also firmly holds the idea of parental responsibility. If he gave birth, he must. Try to imagine that you shouldn’t. Continue reading