Invisible girl, or Cigarettes in exchange for mom's love
Deaf, stupid, impotent rage covered Olga with a concrete slab. Can't breathe, can't get enough air. How tired she was of all these papers, people, negotiations, endless parental "need", "we…

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What is the crisis of marriage institution and what it eats
Tons of classical literature and kilometers of film melodramatic films created the illusion of great and pure love, which certainly ends in marriage and further "they lived happily ever after."…

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12 ways to forgive grievances parents
Do I need to talk to my parents about the past? And what if they deny everything? How to forgive a deceased parent and is it possible to discern in…

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The mathematics of marriage. About things real and provable

I’m sorry, but I’m talking about the obvious today. Science knows a lot hityk, especially if you do it thoughtfully. Watch, explore, analyze and be patient. And on popular lectures psychologists do not necessarily have to report the obvious “Mouse, you have to become hedgehogs!”, and can talk about simple and practical things that are quite capable of changing something in your life.

Yesterday I was at Professor Joram yuvel’s lecture “does Love hurt?”He talked a lot about the research of John Gottman, who once struck me with thoroughness and patience. No wonder, Gottman’s first doctorate was in mathematics.

Its theme is the sustainability of the marriage. What does it depend on? Professor John Gottman approaches the question differently from most sociologists and psychologists who pester thousands of divorced couples with kilometer-long questionnaires. Continue reading

How to separate from my parents or why I don’t live the way I want

Emotional separation from parents sometimes requires serious work on themselves in adulthood.

About why it is important to separate from parents, what to do with guilt and how to find a “Golden mean”, says psychologist and trauma therapist Ksenia Wittenberg.

Relationship with parents is a problem for most

About a third of all client requests are about relationships with parents.

Forces withstand this truth, to agree with his drama and to accept its as part of its history. And stop to demand the lost love and care or compensation for the suffering. This is the process of separation.

Begins, usually with such those:
After my mother’s call, I spend half the day depressed, digesting.
Why does she have to put me down as soon as I get better? Continue reading

Psychological problems of marriage

As you know, “all happy families are similar to each other, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” So how do happy families resemble each other? And so the love can continue throughout life? The American psychologist and psychoanalytic psychotherapist Judith Wallerstein tried to answer these questions.

I would like to introduce you to the findings of her study of 50 happy couples, in which she used the case study method. Couples who met the following criteria were selected to participate in the study:

1. The couple must be legally married for at least 9 years;
2. A couple has one or more children;
3. Both husband and wife consider their marriage happy;
4. The consent of both spouses to both individual and joint interviews.
On the basis of this study suggested that Wallerstein nine psychological tasks of marriage that challenge men and women throughout their life journey. These tasks – a kind of building blocks of a harmonious and strong marriage. These tasks, as they transform, are the work of marriage, which allows to maintain a high quality of relations under the stresses of modern society and the changes occurring with each of the partners throughout life. Continue reading

10 myths about married life
The idea of this article came to me after a seminar on systemic family psychotherapy, which led the Guru to work with families Elena Burtseva. Based on her many years…

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Avoid toxic people, including toxic relatives
The decision not to contact a family member is deeply personal. For some of us, healing a mother's wound is only possible through contact with the mother. In this scenario,…

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The mathematics of marriage. About things real and provable
I'm sorry, but I'm talking about the obvious today. Science knows a lot hityk, especially if you do it thoughtfully. Watch, explore, analyze and be patient. And on popular lectures…

...

Home comfort – it's not scrubbed floors, and scrubbed from the beliefs of the head
Such words I heard from my husband, in response to accusations that he does not appreciate my efforts to maintain the household. It was at the very beginning of our…

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