Five reasons why unloved daughters choose the wrong partners
"How come I married a man who is a copy of my mother? It seemed that he did not look like her, and in the end – just like her.…

Continue reading →

Avoid toxic people, including toxic relatives
The decision not to contact a family member is deeply personal. For some of us, healing a mother's wound is only possible through contact with the mother. In this scenario,…

Continue reading →

Cheating and 5 needs in marriage
Adultery is a marker, a symptom of an unhappy marriage. Adultery can talk about the unmet needs of spouses in marriage. Without getting something in the family, the spouse is…

Continue reading →

Parenting

Violations of hierarchy in the family system. What parents should not do with their children

Hierarchy
Hierarchy is one of the parameters of the family system, designed to establish order, to determine the affiliation, authority, power in the family and the degree of influence of one family member on others.

One of the provisions of the hierarchy is that in the family the parents are responsible for the children and have all the power in the nuclear family. In my article I want to consider some variants of deviations from this norm and their consequences.

Triangulation
Triangulation is an emotional process between two people that tends to involve a third in a relationship. In a broken family where internal boundaries are blurred, parents can sometimes make children their emotional partners. This is an inverted hierarchy, in which the status of the child in the family is equal to the parent. Continue reading

I hate my sister
About jealousy between siblings (siblings) used to speak as a normal feeling. No one perceives it as a kind of imbalance, rather we tend to consider it as a necessary…

...

Two in the boat, not counting the crisis
From ancient Greek "crisis" is translated as "decision, turning point, turning point, time of transition". Crises lead us up a spiral, to development and depth in relationships. When a couple…

...

10 myths about married life
The idea of this article came to me after a seminar on systemic family psychotherapy, which led the Guru to work with families Elena Burtseva. Based on her many years…

...

Loyalty to your family. How does it affect our lives?
Loyalty is one of the most powerful forces that affect a person's personality and life. Any relationship is based on mutual loyalty of people to each other. To be accepted,…

...