Psychologist in the divorce. About what?
My colleague and I once talked about values. And I enthusiastically said this phrase: "Here, for example, family is a great value for me. That's why I got divorced." He…

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Typology of family crises
The prenuptial period of the relationship is extremely important for their subsequent stability. The most important condition is the presence of a period of love, with all his characteristic uncritical…

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My mother always said...
In a sense, every family is a little Prim England with its own traditions. They can relate to relationships, leisure, life... Tried and tested by generations, such rules simplify life.…

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parents

Aging relatives. The tragedy of time

Aging is a multidimensional process, but more often the focus is on the medical aspect of late-age changes. However, for family members, the aging of relatives is a much more complex problem than the physical ailments and diseases themselves. Relatives often find it difficult to cope with feelings of irritation, guilt, to overcome alienation.
Aging of relatives is not only a part of their life cycle, but also a part of the family life cycle. Aging relatives require special treatment, care and love. The situation of aging relatives is normal, all families meet with it one way or another, and each family must get out of this crisis. How? It depends on a number of factors: the previous relationship of family members, their tolerance, selfishness, empathy, maturity, anxiety, financial condition of the family, the characteristics of employment, etc.

It is important to inform family members about the phenomenon of old age, its physiological, emotional and existential nature. Without knowledge of this problem, it is difficult for relatives to build functional, careful relationships with aging relatives. Old age is characterized by some features of the internal and external order, one of which – the closeness of death. Continue reading

Do not want or can not: why do adult children stay with their parents?

We often see the codependence of adult children and their parents. The first can not become independent, find themselves and be realized in society. The second instead of personal life trying in their own way to arrange the lives of children. In the end – both are unhappy.

On the one hand, we have decided to laugh at the 40-year-old bachelors living with their parents. On the other hand, there is a favorite of millions in the post-Soviet space from irony of fate. He demonstrates a symbiosis of amazing power with his elderly mother. Living with her all his life, his brides, and not steamed :).

On the one hand, all look down on the old maidens, who after 35 remain in my mother’s apartment. On the other – full of positive cinematic stories about old maids, recall, for example, a school teacher (the well-known film Raikin, as he saved his old teacher from two displaces it from the apartment of the goons).

What do we have as a result? Total codependence of adult children and their parents. The first can not become independent, find themselves and be realized in society. The second – instead of personal life all trying in their own way to arrange the lives of children. In the end, neither are happy. Continue reading

How to explain to mom that you don’t want to get married: instructions

The good news is that we can close this unpleasant topic once and for all. The bad news is that you have to grow up very quickly, and – surprise! – to abandon some of their stereotypical expectations.

Don’t expect mom to understand.
While the baby is very small, mom really has a lot to understand: he is cold or hungry, he is interested or he is tired… But the older the person becomes, the harder it desires and the less debt remains at mom’s. In the end, mom is also a person with her own views and limitations, with her life position, and it may not coincide with yours. It’s life.

You can argue your views, but do not get involved in endless disputes! It makes no sense: if mom does not agree with your arguments, it is unlikely to convince her. Fortunately, even in this case, all is not lost.
Become independent
Normally: with age, a person becomes more independent – but, as you know, sometimes the age comes alone. If you can not provide yourself with the most necessary, including housing and food, the hope that your arguments will be listened to, is rapidly melting. Continue reading

Beliefs that shape co-dependence
I remembered a distant childhood. Anything I say ideas, opinions, views, objections close ended met with "what you know...", "you're a baby, you warthog". I felt devalued and humiliated, ashamed…

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On the women's separation from parental figures
In fact, the separation of women is not a prerequisite for a happy marriage, as much as the separation of men from their mothers, but, of course, it is a…

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How to explain to mom that you don't want to get married: instructions
The good news is that we can close this unpleasant topic once and for all. The bad news is that you have to grow up very quickly, and – surprise!…

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Marriage of convenience: the truth about a relationship without feelings
Is there any sense in a marriage of convenience in contemporary reality? On this topic argues Gestalt therapist Andrew Yudin. There is such an interesting phenomenon in psychology: human stereotypes…

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