Psychologist in the divorce. About what?
My colleague and I once talked about values. And I enthusiastically said this phrase: "Here, for example, family is a great value for me. That's why I got divorced." He…

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Children and cuisine: risks of the "new Patriarchate"
The women of Victorian England were almost invisible to the law. The term "male person" (male person), which denoted a full-fledged person, brought gentle ladies in corsets beyond the legal…

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"My husband doesn't want me"
A topic that is not customary to talk about. A topic that causes women a lot of shame and guilt. The theme, which, though not so noticeable as to bodily…

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sexuality

“Why didn’t you leave me?!”Notes of the psychotherapist

My wife and I haven’t slept together in 8 years. – He said he jumped into the hole. Almost there. Apparently, long leader was coming with the spirit of, to come. It happens. Tall, thin, about fifty years old, athletic, with an indelible stamp of intelligence on his face. In the history, most likely, high-tech, tennis, Bicycle or skiing. My grandmother used to say “Interesting man.”

– She… good woman. Okay, I guess. We have grown children. She’s just not interested. I mean, sex, you know? Can be, unpalatable even. I can’t even hug her. So, sometimes the old memory will be pulled, and its as much cringe. Not much, but it shows. At times like this, I almost feel like a rapist. And goon somehow. Man doesn’t want to, I do… But how can you not want eight years?! Here you are a woman, tell me, can so many years to do without intimacy?

Uh, what am I supposed to tell him? No, no? Is it inhuman? I do not understand how you can live eight years side by side with a man without hugs, without kisses, without sex? Without making a couple a couple, not roommates. But this is my experience, not his or his wife’s. Continue reading

Beliefs that shape co-dependence
I remembered a distant childhood. Anything I say ideas, opinions, views, objections close ended met with "what you know...", "you're a baby, you warthog". I felt devalued and humiliated, ashamed…

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It's simple. About family rituals and traditions
Working with family (and its subsystems separately: husband + wife, parent + child, and other diverse set of "deuce"/"Troika") I often touch themes family rituals and traditions. "What traditions do…

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Marriage of convenience: the truth about a relationship without feelings
Is there any sense in a marriage of convenience in contemporary reality? On this topic argues Gestalt therapist Andrew Yudin. There is such an interesting phenomenon in psychology: human stereotypes…

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Cheating and 5 needs in marriage
Adultery is a marker, a symptom of an unhappy marriage. Adultery can talk about the unmet needs of spouses in marriage. Without getting something in the family, the spouse is…

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