Two in the boat, not counting the crisis
From ancient Greek "crisis" is translated as "decision, turning point, turning point, time of transition". Crises lead us up a spiral, to development and depth in relationships. When a couple…

Continue reading →

It will be small or who have a family to support?
Tradition or partnership? Traditionally in our society it is believed that the main earner of money in the family should be a man. On the Internet you can find articles…

Continue reading →

10 myths about married life
The idea of this article came to me after a seminar on systemic family psychotherapy, which led the Guru to work with families Elena Burtseva. Based on her many years…

Continue reading →

stress

“My husband doesn’t want me”

A topic that is not customary to talk about. A topic that causes women a lot of shame and guilt. The theme, which, though not so noticeable as to bodily anxiety, make good money, those who know how this is not an isolated phenomenon.

Meanwhile, Google can easily tell us that sexless marriage (lack of sex in marriage) is one of the most popular women’s requests, and men, blackmailing and silently refusing their wives in sex, much more common phenomenon than many who grew up on jokes about the ever-sick head of his wife, it seems.

In the Patriarchal cultural paradigm, the refusal of a man, especially a permanent partner, creates serious pressure on a woman, generating an avalanche of shame and anxiety under the General title “what is wrong with me so much that a man refuses sex”. The woman in this situation often have to bear the burden of “fault” – you have to be sexier, more beautiful, more interesting, more proactive, more mysterious and other slogans spooky psychobabble of training such as “fundamentals of respiratory dearest”, cleverly parasitic on such anxieties. Continue reading

Parental stress

Quite often young parents are told: “Come on, here our grandmothers gave birth to ten children, and nothing, and you can not cope with one.” But really, cultural norms, attachments, and expectations as parents and towards children has changed considerably.

If earlier the baby could spend half a day alone in a cradle, which from time to time shakes some average girl, not very well-fed and with wet diapers, while the mother takes care of cattle or engaged in other things, of the born ten children survived half, and every third woman died in childbirth (not necessarily in the first, but nevertheless), now the situation is different – we do not rely on natural selection, and we know that every step we take, every investment we make will respond to what the child’s fate will be, how society will treat parents, and how likely it is that a grown child will want to see us.

This creates huge pressure on parents: whether I feed him, whether I keep, whether in that garden sent?

This is how parental stress is born – it also leads to parental burnout, loss of empathy, feeling of powerlessness, helplessness, and sometimes – to aggression against the child. Continue reading

It's simple. About family rituals and traditions
Working with family (and its subsystems separately: husband + wife, parent + child, and other diverse set of "deuce"/"Troika") I often touch themes family rituals and traditions. "What traditions do…

...

Mom doesn't have (memo adult children)
Separation is not a one-sided process, but often we (and I too) talk a lot about parents who are not ready, can not, keep, do not let go. About mothers…

...

Children and cuisine: risks of the "new Patriarchate"
The women of Victorian England were almost invisible to the law. The term "male person" (male person), which denoted a full-fledged person, brought gentle ladies in corsets beyond the legal…

...

Marriage of convenience: the truth about a relationship without feelings
Is there any sense in a marriage of convenience in contemporary reality? On this topic argues Gestalt therapist Andrew Yudin. There is such an interesting phenomenon in psychology: human stereotypes…

...