How to separate from my parents or why I don't live the way I want
Emotional separation from parents sometimes requires serious work on themselves in adulthood. About why it is important to separate from parents, what to do with guilt and how to find…

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Psychological problems of marriage
As you know, "all happy families are similar to each other, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." So how do happy families resemble each other? And so…

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Psychological problems of marriage
As you know, "all happy families are similar to each other, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." So how do happy families resemble each other? And so…

Continue reading →

vampires

Family vampires: one controls, the other sabotages

I’m sure it’s really very hard and unpleasant, when you are used as a trash can for the disposal of negative emotions. And in his own home.

But what does control have to do with it? Let’s see where the controllers come from-fans of the apartment scale.

For example, in the parent family, a person had blurred boundaries. This means that the excitement went freely from one family member to another and in a circle, closing most often on the child. Under the excitation of I mean exclusively characteristic of neural processes, most often it manifests itself in the form of anxiety.

Take a specific situation. For example, the mother wronged mother-in-law, mother got angry, felt worthless, a bad mother and the list goes on. It is with this anger she could not cope. And then she caught sight of a child. Of course, it was all his fault. He’s misbehaving, thus giving a reason to devalue my grandmother’s mother (i.e. his sister-in-law). And here is “extreme” becomes already child: he or she feels bad boy or girl. Especially if mom said something like, “useless daughter” or “Terrible son of mine.”

But the mother directly and not to swear, and begin to very much worry about what the child coughs, later returns home, not learning… well, no matter what it is – the main thing is to survive. Continue reading

Husband and father. Find the differences
The husband is often found in the projection of the father, these two figures, in the perception of women, interwoven into one. If father was brutal – husband is perceived…

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Beliefs that shape co-dependence
I remembered a distant childhood. Anything I say ideas, opinions, views, objections close ended met with "what you know...", "you're a baby, you warthog". I felt devalued and humiliated, ashamed…

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Two in the boat, not counting the crisis
From ancient Greek "crisis" is translated as "decision, turning point, turning point, time of transition". Crises lead us up a spiral, to development and depth in relationships. When a couple…

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Psychologist in the divorce. About what?
My colleague and I once talked about values. And I enthusiastically said this phrase: "Here, for example, family is a great value for me. That's why I got divorced." He…

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