Beliefs that shape co-dependence
I remembered a distant childhood. Anything I say ideas, opinions, views, objections close ended met with "what you know...", "you're a baby, you warthog". I felt devalued and humiliated, ashamed…

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How to explain to mom that you don't want to get married: instructions
The good news is that we can close this unpleasant topic once and for all. The bad news is that you have to grow up very quickly, and – surprise!…

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What is the crisis of marriage institution and what it eats
Tons of classical literature and kilometers of film melodramatic films created the illusion of great and pure love, which certainly ends in marriage and further "they lived happily ever after."…

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woman

Husband and father. Find the differences

The husband is often found in the projection of the father, these two figures, in the perception of women, interwoven into one. If father was brutal – husband is perceived intolerant and evil. If the father did not give something, in the husband, first of all, greed is seen. If the father was estranged, and the husband and wife case no.

In General, the relationship with his father is about prospects, success in life, about relationships with men, about financial prosperity. Question: who is your father, means, ultimately, who are you?

On consultation the woman “for forty”, tells that at the husband pneumonia, the ambulance took away it to hospital, on her face tears flow… I sympathize, but, to my surprise, it turns out that the reason of her crying not fears for health of the husband, she grieves for the father who died a year ago.

Wiping tears and sobbing, the woman tells the circumstances of her birth. That the father wanted a son and was disappointed by the appearance of his daughter. And that after she was born, he left home for two weeks. And mom thought he’d never come back. Continue reading

On the women’s separation from parental figures

In fact, the separation of women is not a prerequisite for a happy marriage, as much as the separation of men from their mothers, but, of course, it is a desirable condition.

The necessary conditions for a happy marriage is:
A mother-seraped man. After all, Taim man is difficult to manipulate and manage and such a man will not do it himself;
Woman, free from interact ( settings, beliefs, values) that it is incomplete without a man. That is, it is a woman who feels great as a couple with a man, and without it. After all, such a woman is difficult to manipulate and manage. And a woman like that wouldn’t do that.
And yet, back to the topic of women’s separation, as many of my readers are asked to talk about this process.

In fact, the separation process is much more difficult for girls. Why?

The boy before adolescence is identified with his mother and he will be separated from the mother figure and identified with the father figure in adolescence. Everything is so simple here. Continue reading

Dreams of a “normal family”. Two sides of the same model

Where do they come from these dreams of an ideal family? From childhood? But not the fact that you would like to live the way your parents lived. Probably the opposite. So how do you know what a family should look like? Your family?

Family is where you feel good. Where all your needs are met. It is a Paradise on earth.

Each of us had a heavenly time. That’s when we were little. Also there were big, adult people who for us solved everything and dealt with all our problems. If they were more or less good parents, then we had enough security and freedom.

One of the women’s dreams of an ideal family is the hope that my husband will replace my mom and dad.

What is it I can be like a stone wall, protected as a child from all the problems of the big world. I’ll be nice in return. Good, but not at all capricious. I will do what I like, but “on time to do my homework”, I will cook and clean the apartment, I will watch and take care of the children. If I decide to work, it will be rather my “hobby”, and with this money, I will be able to buy myself “ice cream”, but this is definitely not the money that you can buy clothes or eat for a month. And “up there” will be a big and grown man who will take all the important decisions, take care of me, my life and our children. And if in my childhood it was my father and mother, now there will be a husband. Continue reading

Mom doesn't have (memo adult children)
Separation is not a one-sided process, but often we (and I too) talk a lot about parents who are not ready, can not, keep, do not let go. About mothers…

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What is the crisis of marriage institution and what it eats
Tons of classical literature and kilometers of film melodramatic films created the illusion of great and pure love, which certainly ends in marriage and further "they lived happily ever after."…

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Marriage of convenience: the truth about a relationship without feelings
Is there any sense in a marriage of convenience in contemporary reality? On this topic argues Gestalt therapist Andrew Yudin. There is such an interesting phenomenon in psychology: human stereotypes…

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Irina Mlodik: "old Age – it's time to get paid"
Is it possible to prepare for your own old age and how to behave with elderly relatives? This is the story of a psychologist, author of books and articles on…

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