Deaf, stupid, impotent rage covered Olga with a concrete slab. Can’t breathe, can’t get enough air. How tired she was of all these papers, people, negotiations, endless parental “need”, “we must”, “at any cost”, “we have no right to let the client”, “our reputation must be impeccable”. A few short, hot puffs. Catches my throat… And lets go.
She is stifling in this small, self-contained world of their strong and respected family company, whose reputation is above all. It’s stifling to be with your parents, so proper and honest. So close and so unattainable.
She’s still waiting to be loved, to be heard, to see the real her. Living. She lives. No matter how much they turn her into an obedient biorobot, she’s alive. Yet. And still needs a living human love. Not in maintaining life, not in cold, indifferent, mechanical and selfish “care”, and in love. Their love.
With this company Olga was married since infancy. Any other way of life and the fate of the parents for it is not represented. All she had to do was learn. Learn, master the family business and be worthy of your family. Be like them.
Olina’s mother was always an excellent student. And in school, and in Institute. She had no idea how you can not learn a lesson and get a four. It was unthinkable to her. Continue reading