working with couples
Have you ever thought about the beautiful phrase” Marriages are made in heaven”, the key word “are made”?
“Prisoner – a person who is in the place of detention, in respect of which detention is chosen as a preventive measure” (C).
Despite the fact that I have great respect for the institution of marriage, sometimes, after working with couples, I have a strong feeling that I am a prison psychologist, and my clients – prisoners, many years spent in isolation, inside the “close suffocating space of the wedding ring”, rattling the chain of cast-iron core and through the bars occasionally admiring the “sky of freedom in the cage”, and I – at the same time the defense lawyer, the Prosecutor and the judge, who must pass the final sentence of their love Union…
But, in fact, one of the first questions I ask myself in my mind when taking a couple is not “Who is to blame?”, and even: “Not that to do?”rather, “What is the level of emotional maturity of each spouse?”.
And this maturity has nothing to do with age, life experience, financial situation and professional achievements. It is rather about the strength of the individual, the degree of maturity of each, the willingness to take responsibility for their lives, the ability to change the usual style of thinking – to look not in others, but in themselves the cause of their problems, the ability to see the “picture” as a whole, not trying to trap the guilt of Another, closing in their grievances. Continue reading