Happy family

A life that wasn't meant for me
What can you do for me? What does life look like that I can live? What is my measure of well-being and happiness? What is my "share" and what is…

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Five reasons why unloved daughters choose the wrong partners
"How come I married a man who is a copy of my mother? It seemed that he did not look like her, and in the end – just like her.…

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Dreams of a "normal family". Two sides of the same model
Where do they come from these dreams of an ideal family? From childhood? But not the fact that you would like to live the way your parents lived. Probably the…

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Diagnosis: depreciation. How to live?

The idea of this article hovered in the air for a long time, supported by doubts and non-existent grievances. Increasingly, I began to pull out of the context of “do not worry” and “Yes, it’s not worth it”, “come on, nothing special”, “everyone happens”. It’s about depreciation.

The most classic examples of this disease can be seen on the Playground:

– Mom, look what my castle turned out!
– Are you sure it’s a castle? More like a dead dinosaur.
(depreciation of actions)

– Dad, I belloooo aaiei I parayil palcic!
– Well, okay, you’re a kid or is that something different?
(devaluation of emotions)

Not far gone and school: Continue reading

Cheating and 5 needs in marriage

Adultery is a marker, a symptom of an unhappy marriage. Adultery can talk about the unmet needs of spouses in marriage. Without getting something in the family, the spouse is looking for it on the side.

Not every family can overcome treason. Therefore, it is easier to engage in marital relations at the first “bells” of dissatisfaction than to subject your marriage to such a test.

American researcher, author of “His needs, her needs: building a marriage without change” Willard Hadley conducted an experiment involving more than 800 couples and identified the basic needs of men and women in marriage, the satisfaction of which, the spouses consider each other irresistible.

Thus, there are five needs in marriage, the satisfaction of which sharply reduce the possibility of adultery. Here they are:

1. Women have a need for tenderness. When a man gives a woman flowers , hugs her, kisses her, holds her hand, the woman feels that the partner loves her as a woman. Continue reading

The mathematics of marriage. About things real and provable

I’m sorry, but I’m talking about the obvious today. Science knows a lot hityk, especially if you do it thoughtfully. Watch, explore, analyze and be patient. And on popular lectures psychologists do not necessarily have to report the obvious “Mouse, you have to become hedgehogs!”, and can talk about simple and practical things that are quite capable of changing something in your life.

Yesterday I was at Professor Joram yuvel’s lecture “does Love hurt?”He talked a lot about the research of John Gottman, who once struck me with thoroughness and patience. No wonder, Gottman’s first doctorate was in mathematics.

Its theme is the sustainability of the marriage. What does it depend on? Professor John Gottman approaches the question differently from most sociologists and psychologists who pester thousands of divorced couples with kilometer-long questionnaires. Continue reading

How to separate from my parents or why I don’t live the way I want

Emotional separation from parents sometimes requires serious work on themselves in adulthood.

About why it is important to separate from parents, what to do with guilt and how to find a “Golden mean”, says psychologist and trauma therapist Ksenia Wittenberg.

Relationship with parents is a problem for most

About a third of all client requests are about relationships with parents.

Forces withstand this truth, to agree with his drama and to accept its as part of its history. And stop to demand the lost love and care or compensation for the suffering. This is the process of separation.

Begins, usually with such those:
After my mother’s call, I spend half the day depressed, digesting.
Why does she have to put me down as soon as I get better? Continue reading

“Pregnant together”: how to survive nine months and not get divorced

Advice from a family psychologist for those whose marital relationship is being tested by pregnancy.

Relationships in a couple – a complex process and sometimes confusing, and if the couple decided to get offspring, then there is no special attention to communication, understanding the feelings and emotions of each other can not do.

Why family conflicts escalate
Remember the wonderful movie “Junior” with Schwarzenegger in the title role? Reconsider! A healthy, physically strong and emotionally balanced character Arnold cried like a child because of the sentimental little things. The Director and writers managed to fully reflect and convey the emotional state of the pregnant woman in a playful and careful manner, inviting the man to change roles and survive these “terrible” States. It’s funny to see how a strong man needed a woman to take care of him.

Pregnancy strengthens all processes and “pain points” of the personality.

Despite the fact that pregnancy can be a long-awaited, planned or natural continuation of the relationship, it does not take away from her truly phenomenal nature. Continue reading

The mathematics of marriage. About things real and provable
I'm sorry, but I'm talking about the obvious today. Science knows a lot hityk, especially if you do it thoughtfully. Watch, explore, analyze and be patient. And on popular lectures…

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Happy family model: where to get it?
The ability to model, imitate, adopt the skills of other people is one of the basic skills of any person. Let us remember how a small child learns: he watches.…

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Marriage of convenience: the truth about a relationship without feelings
Is there any sense in a marriage of convenience in contemporary reality? On this topic argues Gestalt therapist Andrew Yudin. There is such an interesting phenomenon in psychology: human stereotypes…

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10 myths about married life
The idea of this article came to me after a seminar on systemic family psychotherapy, which led the Guru to work with families Elena Burtseva. Based on her many years…

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