Sacred marriage or why do we need a Sacred marriage or why do we need a family??
“Marriage is not a good thing to call” – says the famous aphorism. And about the destruction of the institution of modern marriage, and about the statistics of divorce, and about the new forms of marriage, too, said a lot. Yes, and I have the most experience of two failed marriages, which had to be terminated because of their complete lack of viability. And yet, (and perhaps that is why), I wanted to write an article in defense of marriage, because I have often wondered: why do we need a family? And the people around me, too, have repeatedly doubted the usefulness of this public institution, advocating for different more free forms of cohabitation.
At once we will decide on “virgin persons”, that is with me and some my friends and clients on which experience I intend to rely. I’m not one to whimper, “no man in the house is no life.” I have a good experience of positive loneliness and raising children without their fathers. That is, when I was married, we lived worse in every sense, (and mental, and financial, and in all the others, too). And I still believe that not every marriage should be preserved. And “live for the sake of the children” is also not worth it, the kids will only get worse.
But, nevertheless, I’m more FOR marriage than AGAINST. It is for a real, traditional marriage in which partners (husband and wife) live in the same house, raise children together, and bear all the hardships and joys of life. Don’t get divorced on the first impulse. And the second, and the third, fourth and 18th, too, are not divorced. Not because the “tolerate”, but because. However, about this and speech. And about this below.
First, about why now this phenomenon of traditional marriage, and even more so, a successful marriage, is so rare. There are so many reasons for this that entire volumes are written on these topics. I will give the most, in my opinion, widespread.
Why marriages are unhappy and unstable
1. Marry, as a still children, (in psychological, of course, sense). Why? Getting knocked up, mostly. Teen sex, lightheartedness with contraceptives, and oops! Lala! The girl cries, the boy’s conscience and sense of duty. I don’t mind it at all, everything is as it is. But in most cases, unfortunately, the relationship broke down, initially because of love, (the glue that is necessary in a relationship), it was not. There was desire, passion.
And then a young woman gives birth and she is not up to passion. The child does not sleep, bloated tummy, or something… she just has no strength for her husband! And even claim be “as big”: “You are, say, a father, and I should!”Young man, (nedoguleny, neotrocholina not ready neither to provide nor to take responsibility nor trite garbage to take out…), deliberating some time over the question why he needs such a family, does not stand up and leaves. Or she throws him out, because “no Prince”.
Of course I am oversimplifying the situation, almost primitivity. But in principle, this is all true. The family is adult problems, it is difficult for children to sustain it. And if mom is forced to take care of the child, then dad will not keep the family on one enthusiasm.
2. …Marry. Being kids!
Not a typo. This is the next point, it completely repeats the previous one, although the scenario is different. Spouses can be more than 25. Even more than 30, but a good marriage they do not Shine, because they behave like children, Is it?
Do not know how to negotiate;
Not take marriage seriously: “(it is possible to get a divorce if you are tired, why?”);
Fight for leadership (it is rather inherent in teenagers, but by and large, all the same childhood!);
Do not know how to take responsibility and fulfill obligations. (Why? Divorce is much easier. “He (she) is annoying me” – a synonym for sacramental: “not together”).
And our spouses think that “this is not the love of my life,” and we need to shake the ashes of the past off our feet and move on. Seek love…
3. Get married on the calculation, and the calculation is wrong.
For example: she expects that he will give her coats and carry to the Bahamas. He expects her to wait for him and raise his children while he has fun with friends or Chicks. They didn’t match! What now? We’ll have to break up and move on! What about the children? Of course, they, too, once again may wonder why you need a family, and perhaps to stop the collapse of the family boat, but it would be better not to stop! Because to live in such an environment is unbearable even for adults, what can we say about children!
4. Relatives (mother-in-law or mother-in-law) intervened, and spoiled everything.
This is a common story, and more about it in the articles that are referenced at the end.
5. The couple copy the scenarios to which they are accustomed in their parents ‘ families. The scenarios don’t match. For example, in the family of his wife’s mother was the main (and parental marriage was successful!), and in my husband’s family the father was the main ( brought forth the result was all bad). And each of the young couple is trying to build something of their own… And the eternal battle, peace we only dream. Why fight? Why learn to negotiate? It is difficult, easier to divorce, and again the same: “do not agree with the characters”…
6. Everything would be fine if it was: housing, she knew how to cook, he did not play games, if not for her girlfriend, if not for his football (friends, work), drunkenness, she did not compare it with his ex, he did not compare it with his ex…
You guessed it? I’m driving! I write what comes to mind, just everything, and then letters of the alphabet is not enough to list all claims. But behind each phrase – specific tragic stories. Family cemeteries. And it’s not funny.
And if you generalize and how to analyze the above, you get again the same first reason: children get married! Kotorye are far from understanding, why need a family. Because adults (psychologically) people with these problems will understand. And mother-in-law (mother-in-law) will put in place, and the money will be distributed, and play (drink) will not or stop, etc.
Maybe we shouldn’t live together.
Since it’s so complicated, maybe not living together? Such a great new-fangled (or not) of the invention: guest marriage. Everyone lives their own lives, goes to visit for sexual pleasures and watching TV together… that does not exclude, of course, mutual support and joint rest, and even a lot of things together, depending on the degree of proximity. If men and women together in any way, then it is better so.But there’s something about it… something elusive about a good family and a good Borak. Special warmth, closeness, this “one for all…” – loyalty that is.
Now is the time for Holy marriage. About its higher function. About Love – including.
Why and why does this feeling arise between people? And in my opinion, there are two main reasons. And here from the field of psychology we will have to plunge into esotericism. It’s not scientific; you may not believe it. But… this view of things helps a lot in life, proven.
The reason the first – reward
Who has a happy marriage? The one who “converged characters.” Why get together? What is happiness? Because in a large number of past incarnations of the current spouse has already experienced different forms of relationship: he loves her, not his; she loves him, he – no, both hate each other, but are forced to live together; they love each other but they are separated… etc. Options, as you know, myriad.
If they have experienced all this correctly, that is, without resistance to the life process, with acceptance, with trust in God. Then… reward! They meet in this life, and they have no obstacles that prevent them from living together and being happy. Neither internal nor external. Theme worked out. Hurray! Curtain. They lived happily, and died in one day.
This does not mean that everything else in the life of the couple will be as cloudless. There may be problems with career, money, health, children. For example, I personally know one family that lives exceptionally well and amicably, but I can not create my own house. All my life – in a rented house, from place to place. But the relationship – God forbid everyone.
The second reason is education
Love is the driving force of evolution. Who’s that? It means you’re falling for the wrong person. His Outlook, appearance, financial situation, family or something else is not what you wanted for yourself before! And only love helps you to accept in his life the, then seemed utterly impossible. You become higher in an evolutionary sense, your partner “educates” you, and you – him, although it seems that you just love and swear, love and swear. Outsiders think that you spoil each other’s lives, in fact, you learn to conflict, to get out of conflict, learn to negotiate, to compromise, to yield, or to defend themselves. Only you know what you learn in relationships, outsiders (even mom) can not always explain.
And if our hypothetical couple has love, then divorce (even if it is full of some difficulties), it means – do not accept the gifts of Fate (reward), or refuse to develop (education). And adults don’t usually do such stupid things.
What is Sacred Marriage?
And now about what is Sacred Marriage. It is the Union of the Female and the Male deity, whereby the Deity becomes One. The division into good-bad, Spirit-body, strength-weakness Yes-no, and so a huge number of possible antonyms, which is called the duality of the world, disappears. What remains is the essence of existence, which includes everything.
Almost all cultures and religions have the concept of the One and the Union of masculinity and femininity. We, the people, are also their bearers and representatives, so this philosophy applies to us directly.
If two people, a man and a woman in this or in past lives have been tested by a relationship, they gain access to power twice as much as they are – separate. Yin meets Yang and they can really be themselves:
A Yin woman can be a Woman.
Yang – man can be a Man.
They no longer need to learn the functions of the opposite archetype: a woman to swing a sword or paddle, and a man to cook soup and vacuum.
This, of course, is interesting – to comprehend the wisdom of life of the opposite sex. And in our world, many do so, and because it is exciting and because there is no other way. The result is also good, because we are all – too double, we have anima and animus – male and female component of the soul. And this also has its buzz, self-sufficiency but… loneliness. In self-sufficiency there is always a lot of safety, independence and always a shitload of loneliness! That’s right.…
And not for me to judge why, but a woman can live her feminine destiny happily just next to the beloved man, and a man is with a woman. All geniuses have muses… So if a man wants to be successful, he has to be inspired by a woman. A woman’s success – is the presence of a number of men, whom she can inspire. Why family? Then, to human marriage, could turn into Sacred Marriage – embodiment of Divine design on Earth.
Family happiness to you…