Cheating and 5 needs in marriage
Adultery is a marker, a symptom of an unhappy marriage. Adultery can talk about the unmet needs of spouses in marriage. Without getting something in the family, the spouse is…

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Dreams of a "normal family". Two sides of the same model
Where do they come from these dreams of an ideal family? From childhood? But not the fact that you would like to live the way your parents lived. Probably the…

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It's simple. About family rituals and traditions
Working with family (and its subsystems separately: husband + wife, parent + child, and other diverse set of "deuce"/"Troika") I often touch themes family rituals and traditions. "What traditions do…

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Monthly Archives: July 2017

On the women’s separation from parental figures

In fact, the separation of women is not a prerequisite for a happy marriage, as much as the separation of men from their mothers, but, of course, it is a desirable condition.

The necessary conditions for a happy marriage is:
A mother-seraped man. After all, Taim man is difficult to manipulate and manage and such a man will not do it himself;
Woman, free from interact ( settings, beliefs, values) that it is incomplete without a man. That is, it is a woman who feels great as a couple with a man, and without it. After all, such a woman is difficult to manipulate and manage. And a woman like that wouldn’t do that.
And yet, back to the topic of women’s separation, as many of my readers are asked to talk about this process.

In fact, the separation process is much more difficult for girls. Why?

The boy before adolescence is identified with his mother and he will be separated from the mother figure and identified with the father figure in adolescence. Everything is so simple here. Continue reading

The art of raising a slave

Have you noticed that adults often treat children as an uncomfortable object, which greatly complicates their parental existence? Like an annoying fly that you have to fend off, like a little villain that you have to deal with at all costs and who, in turn, only thinks how to make our lives unbearable… As if we are talking about the fact that we are all angels who understand, and they are worthless imperfections that it is important to make convenient for their own use. Yes, true, and not for use. So… if only not interfered…

And not to interfere it is necessary to create a clear code-what is and what is not, what is good for the child and what is bad. Hence-a huge number of adult statements, beginning with the words “the child should”. Must understand, must eat, must learn, must know, must respect. Must, Must and must.

You agree? And you look at the parent forums. And compare them… medieval advice for the upbringing of a slave.

I read: “judging by the description, your three-year-old daughter is already a very depraved girl. If she is unable to meet the demands of adults, something must be done about it. The best thing that came up with our ancestors – of course, spanking” (three smileys). Continue reading

Mom doesn’t have (memo adult children)

Separation is not a one-sided process, but often we (and I too) talk a lot about parents who are not ready, can not, keep, do not let go. About mothers who tie, afraid of loneliness and uselessness, and whose world is centered around children. We used to believe that parents have a lot of responsibility for the quality of life of their children.

But there are also children who do not leave.

To leave, to leave, and sometimes, if it is necessary for survival – to leave is a task of the grown-up children if they want to find the way. And this is often much more complicated.

Because if the parents are comfortable and warm, more than uncomfortable, the impulse to “break away from” is difficult to be born, to form.

And if the parents are difficult, cold and painful, I really want to believe that it can change and I can influence it. Children’s omnipotence has not been canceled, and it is able to hold strong emotionally near parents, even physically you will be Oh how far.

Also firmly holds the idea of parental responsibility. If he gave birth, he must. Try to imagine that you shouldn’t. Continue reading

I hate my sister
About jealousy between siblings (siblings) used to speak as a normal feeling. No one perceives it as a kind of imbalance, rather we tend to consider it as a necessary…

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Formula of love for prisoners of marriage
Have you ever thought about the beautiful phrase" Marriages are made in heaven", the key word "are made"? "Prisoner – a person who is in the place of detention, in…

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Parental stress
Quite often young parents are told: "Come on, here our grandmothers gave birth to ten children, and nothing, and you can not cope with one." But really, cultural norms, attachments,…

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How to separate from my parents or why I don't live the way I want
Emotional separation from parents sometimes requires serious work on themselves in adulthood. About why it is important to separate from parents, what to do with guilt and how to find…

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