About family rituals and traditions
– My mother continues to own my life. I resent that! What am I to do?
– How old are You?
– You live with your mother?
– No, she bought me and my husband an apartment.
– Who issued?
– She, she’s afraid we’ll break up and he’ll take half.
– Are you financially independent from your mother?
Not really. I’m not working, I have a child for almost three years, and with gardens to the problem. And actually, I think that a woman should be with child, to create coziness at home!
Yeah, right. And my mother still helps somehow?
– Well, she takes her granddaughter when I need to go out or get some rest. Give gifts. We also went to Cyprus for my birthday, and my daughter was left with her. Sometimes he buys delicious food, we go to the clinic together, I am very worried, now such doctors, horror. Continue reading
It does not matter, 5 years old child, 25 or 40, if you are a mother, your task does not change: you accommodate feelings, extinguish fear, give stability. There is no one but you to do it. And without this it is difficult for a person to live. Not getting support from you, the child builds it himself, and as proper oporozhnenie no one has taught his strategies are often maladaptive: diseases of the body, nervous disorders, trouble in my life.
What’s that got to do with it? In the literal sense at all. About a man who received support from parents, saying: “Nothing of him/her not answering,” or “dusted himself off/confused and went/and” or “was born with the caul/Las”, etc. and whining, disease, poor health and eternal trouble is not destiny, and call for help, search the equilibrium point.
At any age there are moments when someone has to give support from the outside. Even if you have a thousand supports inside, sometimes you need a thousand first, a new one. Ideally, it is given by parents. When there are no parents or they can not, because they themselves without support, then give friends, spouses, psychotherapist, temporarily “getting up” for you in the parental place. Continue reading
Adultery is a marker, a symptom of an unhappy marriage. Adultery can talk about the unmet needs of spouses in marriage. Without getting something in the family, the spouse is looking for it on the side.
Not every family can overcome treason. Therefore, it is easier to engage in marital relations at the first “bells” of dissatisfaction than to subject your marriage to such a test.
American researcher, author of “His needs, her needs: building a marriage without change” Willard Hadley conducted an experiment involving more than 800 couples and identified the basic needs of men and women in marriage, the satisfaction of which, the spouses consider each other irresistible.
Thus, there are five needs in marriage, the satisfaction of which sharply reduce the possibility of adultery. Here they are:
1. Women have a need for tenderness. When a man gives a woman flowers , hugs her, kisses her, holds her hand, the woman feels that the partner loves her as a woman. Continue reading