Family vampires: one controls, the other sabotages
I'm sure it's really very hard and unpleasant, when you are used as a trash can for the disposal of negative emotions. And in his own home. But what does…

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Looking for the perfect man
I don't want to write about men. And, first of all, about parents. Oil painting: an ideal, pure soul mother who put life on the child, nurtured, nurtured, raised, gave…

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The art of raising a slave
Have you noticed that adults often treat children as an uncomfortable object, which greatly complicates their parental existence? Like an annoying fly that you have to fend off, like a…

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childhood

If you are a mom – take care of yourself. It’s your responsibility

It does not matter, 5 years old child, 25 or 40, if you are a mother, your task does not change: you accommodate feelings, extinguish fear, give stability. There is no one but you to do it. And without this it is difficult for a person to live. Not getting support from you, the child builds it himself, and as proper oporozhnenie no one has taught his strategies are often maladaptive: diseases of the body, nervous disorders, trouble in my life.

What’s that got to do with it? In the literal sense at all. About a man who received support from parents, saying: “Nothing of him/her not answering,” or “dusted himself off/confused and went/and” or “was born with the caul/Las”, etc. and whining, disease, poor health and eternal trouble is not destiny, and call for help, search the equilibrium point.

At any age there are moments when someone has to give support from the outside. Even if you have a thousand supports inside, sometimes you need a thousand first, a new one. Ideally, it is given by parents. When there are no parents or they can not, because they themselves without support, then give friends, spouses, psychotherapist, temporarily “getting up” for you in the parental place. Continue reading

“Pregnant together”: how to survive nine months and not get divorced

Advice from a family psychologist for those whose marital relationship is being tested by pregnancy.

Relationships in a couple – a complex process and sometimes confusing, and if the couple decided to get offspring, then there is no special attention to communication, understanding the feelings and emotions of each other can not do.

Why family conflicts escalate
Remember the wonderful movie “Junior” with Schwarzenegger in the title role? Reconsider! A healthy, physically strong and emotionally balanced character Arnold cried like a child because of the sentimental little things. The Director and writers managed to fully reflect and convey the emotional state of the pregnant woman in a playful and careful manner, inviting the man to change roles and survive these “terrible” States. It’s funny to see how a strong man needed a woman to take care of him.

Pregnancy strengthens all processes and “pain points” of the personality.

Despite the fact that pregnancy can be a long-awaited, planned or natural continuation of the relationship, it does not take away from her truly phenomenal nature. Continue reading

What is the crisis of marriage institution and what it eats

Tons of classical literature and kilometers of film melodramatic films created the illusion of great and pure love, which certainly ends in marriage and further “they lived happily ever after.” And although recent Hollywood movies (not only Arthouse) are beginning to put in the center of the plot the most mysterious thing that follows after the phrase “they lived happily ever after”, in the collective unconscious is strong idea of the ideal “spherical horse in a vacuum”, an ideal marriage that “everyone except me”.

Someone believes that “Romeo and Juliet”, a story about the love-hormonal fever of two 14 – year-olds, which five days after their acquaintance ended in a double suicide, is about love. Someone envious sighs, reviewing for the umpteenth time the movie “Pretty woman” about an insecure man incapable of emotional contact, trying to remove their alarm using a control (money + power) over a known-vulnerable partner.

Yes, of course, a movie or a book about a calm, trusting, open relationship would be boring. Passions and intrigue to experience more interesting. And let it be so, then there are stories. But these images people are beginning seek and in life and disappointed, that unicorns, it turns out, not there is. Continue reading

The mathematics of marriage. About things real and provable
I'm sorry, but I'm talking about the obvious today. Science knows a lot hityk, especially if you do it thoughtfully. Watch, explore, analyze and be patient. And on popular lectures…

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I hate my sister
About jealousy between siblings (siblings) used to speak as a normal feeling. No one perceives it as a kind of imbalance, rather we tend to consider it as a necessary…

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Aging relatives. The tragedy of time
Aging is a multidimensional process, but more often the focus is on the medical aspect of late-age changes. However, for family members, the aging of relatives is a much more…

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A life that wasn't meant for me
What can you do for me? What does life look like that I can live? What is my measure of well-being and happiness? What is my "share" and what is…

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