Do not want or can not: why do adult children stay with their parents?
We often see the codependence of adult children and their parents. The first can not become independent, find themselves and be realized in society. The second instead of personal life…

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Parents
In order to endure childish affection, which may seem clingy and annoying, as well as children's affects like outbursts of hatred for younger brothers and sisters, and children's whims, and…

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Marriage of convenience: the truth about a relationship without feelings
Is there any sense in a marriage of convenience in contemporary reality? On this topic argues Gestalt therapist Andrew Yudin. There is such an interesting phenomenon in psychology: human stereotypes…

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family built

Traps that are easy to get into, sincerely wishing happiness to their children

– My mother continues to own my life. I resent that! What am I to do?
– How old are You?
– 26.
– You live with your mother?
– No, she bought me and my husband an apartment.
– Who issued?
– She, she’s afraid we’ll break up and he’ll take half.
– Are you financially independent from your mother?
Not really. I’m not working, I have a child for almost three years, and with gardens to the problem. And actually, I think that a woman should be with child, to create coziness at home!
Yeah, right. And my mother still helps somehow?
– Well, she takes her granddaughter when I need to go out or get some rest. Give gifts. We also went to Cyprus for my birthday, and my daughter was left with her. Sometimes he buys delicious food, we go to the clinic together, I am very worried, now such doctors, horror. Continue reading

What is the crisis of marriage institution and what it eats

Tons of classical literature and kilometers of film melodramatic films created the illusion of great and pure love, which certainly ends in marriage and further “they lived happily ever after.” And although recent Hollywood movies (not only Arthouse) are beginning to put in the center of the plot the most mysterious thing that follows after the phrase “they lived happily ever after”, in the collective unconscious is strong idea of the ideal “spherical horse in a vacuum”, an ideal marriage that “everyone except me”.

Someone believes that “Romeo and Juliet”, a story about the love-hormonal fever of two 14 – year-olds, which five days after their acquaintance ended in a double suicide, is about love. Someone envious sighs, reviewing for the umpteenth time the movie “Pretty woman” about an insecure man incapable of emotional contact, trying to remove their alarm using a control (money + power) over a known-vulnerable partner.

Yes, of course, a movie or a book about a calm, trusting, open relationship would be boring. Passions and intrigue to experience more interesting. And let it be so, then there are stories. But these images people are beginning seek and in life and disappointed, that unicorns, it turns out, not there is. Continue reading

It’s simple. About family rituals and traditions

Working with family (and its subsystems separately: husband + wife, parent + child, and other diverse set of “deuce”/”Troika”) I often touch themes family rituals and traditions.

“What traditions do you have in your family/couple?”When did they arise?”Who brought them?”Do you like them?””What do you like to do together?””Are there any special rituals in your family?”– these and other issues highlight the important bonding threads that give strength to the family fabric.

It happens that traditions, as well as family rules (unspoken), pass from the parent family unconsciously, are taken as a given, in this case it is useful to look at them more closely. How useful are they? Do we really need them for our couple, children, the family as a whole? Do we want to keep them? It is also important to reconsider the tradition with the development of the family: age-related changes, needs change, changes in family composition. Continue reading

It will be small or who have a family to support?
Tradition or partnership? Traditionally in our society it is believed that the main earner of money in the family should be a man. On the Internet you can find articles…

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Looking for the perfect man
I don't want to write about men. And, first of all, about parents. Oil painting: an ideal, pure soul mother who put life on the child, nurtured, nurtured, raised, gave…

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It will be small or who have a family to support?
Tradition or partnership? Traditionally in our society it is believed that the main earner of money in the family should be a man. On the Internet you can find articles…

...

The art of raising a slave
Have you noticed that adults often treat children as an uncomfortable object, which greatly complicates their parental existence? Like an annoying fly that you have to fend off, like a…

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