Loyalty to your family. How does it affect our lives?
Loyalty is one of the most powerful forces that affect a person's personality and life. Any relationship is based on mutual loyalty of people to each other. To be accepted,…

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What is the crisis of marriage institution and what it eats
Tons of classical literature and kilometers of film melodramatic films created the illusion of great and pure love, which certainly ends in marriage and further "they lived happily ever after."…

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Violations of hierarchy in the family system. What parents should not do with their children
Hierarchy Hierarchy is one of the parameters of the family system, designed to establish order, to determine the affiliation, authority, power in the family and the degree of influence of…

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family crises

Traps that are easy to get into, sincerely wishing happiness to their children

– My mother continues to own my life. I resent that! What am I to do?
– How old are You?
– 26.
– You live with your mother?
– No, she bought me and my husband an apartment.
– Who issued?
– She, she’s afraid we’ll break up and he’ll take half.
– Are you financially independent from your mother?
Not really. I’m not working, I have a child for almost three years, and with gardens to the problem. And actually, I think that a woman should be with child, to create coziness at home!
Yeah, right. And my mother still helps somehow?
– Well, she takes her granddaughter when I need to go out or get some rest. Give gifts. We also went to Cyprus for my birthday, and my daughter was left with her. Sometimes he buys delicious food, we go to the clinic together, I am very worried, now such doctors, horror. Continue reading

The mathematics of marriage. About things real and provable

I’m sorry, but I’m talking about the obvious today. Science knows a lot hityk, especially if you do it thoughtfully. Watch, explore, analyze and be patient. And on popular lectures psychologists do not necessarily have to report the obvious “Mouse, you have to become hedgehogs!”, and can talk about simple and practical things that are quite capable of changing something in your life.

Yesterday I was at Professor Joram yuvel’s lecture “does Love hurt?”He talked a lot about the research of John Gottman, who once struck me with thoroughness and patience. No wonder, Gottman’s first doctorate was in mathematics.

Its theme is the sustainability of the marriage. What does it depend on? Professor John Gottman approaches the question differently from most sociologists and psychologists who pester thousands of divorced couples with kilometer-long questionnaires. Continue reading

Avoid toxic people, including toxic relatives

The decision not to contact a family member is deeply personal.

For some of us, healing a mother’s wound is only possible through contact with the mother. In this scenario, healing creates a new, deeper connection between mother and daughter – and that’s infinitely beautiful. I’ve seen it happen, and it’s really inspiring.

But for some of us, it is impossible to heal by staying in contact with the mother.

The removal of a member of the family is still considered taboo, especially if we are talking about mother. Sometimes a short distance and a short suspension are enough. In other cases, the suspension may be permanent. It takes incredible strength and courage to get through this.

What could lead to suspension?
There are many reasons why people make this decision. But the root of it is the realization that your mother’s dysfunctional behavior is costing you your emotional and mental balance, and you are no longer able to pay the price. Continue reading

Parents, don't teach us to live!
The question came: "How to make it clear to her husband's parents that the son has grown up, married and he has his own family! it is not necessary for…

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It's simple. About family rituals and traditions
Working with family (and its subsystems separately: husband + wife, parent + child, and other diverse set of "deuce"/"Troika") I often touch themes family rituals and traditions. "What traditions do…

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It will be small or who have a family to support?
Tradition or partnership? Traditionally in our society it is believed that the main earner of money in the family should be a man. On the Internet you can find articles…

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What is the crisis of marriage institution and what it eats
Tons of classical literature and kilometers of film melodramatic films created the illusion of great and pure love, which certainly ends in marriage and further "they lived happily ever after."…

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