10 myths about married life
The idea of this article came to me after a seminar on systemic family psychotherapy, which led the Guru to work with families Elena Burtseva. Based on her many years…

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Happy family model: where to get it?
The ability to model, imitate, adopt the skills of other people is one of the basic skills of any person. Let us remember how a small child learns: he watches.…

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Aging relatives. The tragedy of time
Aging is a multidimensional process, but more often the focus is on the medical aspect of late-age changes. However, for family members, the aging of relatives is a much more…

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Marriage of convenience

Happy family model: where to get it?

The ability to model, imitate, adopt the skills of other people is one of the basic skills of any person. Let us remember how a small child learns: he watches. He carefully watches what mom or dad does, and it does not matter what it is: cooking, talking on the phone, joint “gatherings” in the evening or silent games in offense.

The child in this case is not much different from the alien, who was sent to the planet Earth with some special and responsible mission. The kid can not yet assess what is happening. He actively records the information coming from the outside and, having accumulated it enough, without much thought, begins to implement the learned patterns of behavior in life, that is, trying to repeat what mom or dad recently did.

And if simple enough or “vyzhivatelnogo” skills manifest themselves immediately, like a child soon says the words, mom puts the phone to his ear, imitating the intonation of parents and cartoon characters, others, not such necessary qualities are manifested much later. Continue reading

“Pregnant together”: how to survive nine months and not get divorced

Advice from a family psychologist for those whose marital relationship is being tested by pregnancy.

Relationships in a couple – a complex process and sometimes confusing, and if the couple decided to get offspring, then there is no special attention to communication, understanding the feelings and emotions of each other can not do.

Why family conflicts escalate
Remember the wonderful movie “Junior” with Schwarzenegger in the title role? Reconsider! A healthy, physically strong and emotionally balanced character Arnold cried like a child because of the sentimental little things. The Director and writers managed to fully reflect and convey the emotional state of the pregnant woman in a playful and careful manner, inviting the man to change roles and survive these “terrible” States. It’s funny to see how a strong man needed a woman to take care of him.

Pregnancy strengthens all processes and “pain points” of the personality.

Despite the fact that pregnancy can be a long-awaited, planned or natural continuation of the relationship, it does not take away from her truly phenomenal nature. Continue reading

Violations of hierarchy in the family system. What parents should not do with their children

Hierarchy
Hierarchy is one of the parameters of the family system, designed to establish order, to determine the affiliation, authority, power in the family and the degree of influence of one family member on others.

One of the provisions of the hierarchy is that in the family the parents are responsible for the children and have all the power in the nuclear family. In my article I want to consider some variants of deviations from this norm and their consequences.

Triangulation
Triangulation is an emotional process between two people that tends to involve a third in a relationship. In a broken family where internal boundaries are blurred, parents can sometimes make children their emotional partners. This is an inverted hierarchy, in which the status of the child in the family is equal to the parent. Continue reading

"My husband doesn't want me"
A topic that is not customary to talk about. A topic that causes women a lot of shame and guilt. The theme, which, though not so noticeable as to bodily…

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Do not want or can not: why do adult children stay with their parents?
We often see the codependence of adult children and their parents. The first can not become independent, find themselves and be realized in society. The second instead of personal life…

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If you are a mom – take care of yourself. It's your responsibility
It does not matter, 5 years old child, 25 or 40, if you are a mother, your task does not change: you accommodate feelings, extinguish fear, give stability. There is…

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Do not want or can not: why do adult children stay with their parents?
We often see the codependence of adult children and their parents. The first can not become independent, find themselves and be realized in society. The second instead of personal life…

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