Two in the boat, not counting the crisis
From ancient Greek "crisis" is translated as "decision, turning point, turning point, time of transition". Crises lead us up a spiral, to development and depth in relationships. When a couple…

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Violations of hierarchy in the family system. What parents should not do with their children
Hierarchy Hierarchy is one of the parameters of the family system, designed to establish order, to determine the affiliation, authority, power in the family and the degree of influence of…

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Cheating and 5 needs in marriage
Adultery is a marker, a symptom of an unhappy marriage. Adultery can talk about the unmet needs of spouses in marriage. Without getting something in the family, the spouse is…

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normal family

Traps that are easy to get into, sincerely wishing happiness to their children

– My mother continues to own my life. I resent that! What am I to do?
– How old are You?
– 26.
– You live with your mother?
– No, she bought me and my husband an apartment.
– Who issued?
– She, she’s afraid we’ll break up and he’ll take half.
– Are you financially independent from your mother?
Not really. I’m not working, I have a child for almost three years, and with gardens to the problem. And actually, I think that a woman should be with child, to create coziness at home!
Yeah, right. And my mother still helps somehow?
– Well, she takes her granddaughter when I need to go out or get some rest. Give gifts. We also went to Cyprus for my birthday, and my daughter was left with her. Sometimes he buys delicious food, we go to the clinic together, I am very worried, now such doctors, horror. Continue reading

Avoid toxic people, including toxic relatives

The decision not to contact a family member is deeply personal.

For some of us, healing a mother’s wound is only possible through contact with the mother. In this scenario, healing creates a new, deeper connection between mother and daughter – and that’s infinitely beautiful. I’ve seen it happen, and it’s really inspiring.

But for some of us, it is impossible to heal by staying in contact with the mother.

The removal of a member of the family is still considered taboo, especially if we are talking about mother. Sometimes a short distance and a short suspension are enough. In other cases, the suspension may be permanent. It takes incredible strength and courage to get through this.

What could lead to suspension?
There are many reasons why people make this decision. But the root of it is the realization that your mother’s dysfunctional behavior is costing you your emotional and mental balance, and you are no longer able to pay the price. Continue reading

“Why didn’t you leave me?!”Notes of the psychotherapist

My wife and I haven’t slept together in 8 years. – He said he jumped into the hole. Almost there. Apparently, long leader was coming with the spirit of, to come. It happens. Tall, thin, about fifty years old, athletic, with an indelible stamp of intelligence on his face. In the history, most likely, high-tech, tennis, Bicycle or skiing. My grandmother used to say “Interesting man.”

– She… good woman. Okay, I guess. We have grown children. She’s just not interested. I mean, sex, you know? Can be, unpalatable even. I can’t even hug her. So, sometimes the old memory will be pulled, and its as much cringe. Not much, but it shows. At times like this, I almost feel like a rapist. And goon somehow. Man doesn’t want to, I do… But how can you not want eight years?! Here you are a woman, tell me, can so many years to do without intimacy?

Uh, what am I supposed to tell him? No, no? Is it inhuman? I do not understand how you can live eight years side by side with a man without hugs, without kisses, without sex? Without making a couple a couple, not roommates. But this is my experience, not his or his wife’s. Continue reading

I hate my sister
About jealousy between siblings (siblings) used to speak as a normal feeling. No one perceives it as a kind of imbalance, rather we tend to consider it as a necessary…

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Do not want or can not: why do adult children stay with their parents?
We often see the codependence of adult children and their parents. The first can not become independent, find themselves and be realized in society. The second instead of personal life…

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Avoid toxic people, including toxic relatives
The decision not to contact a family member is deeply personal. For some of us, healing a mother's wound is only possible through contact with the mother. In this scenario,…

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Husband and father. Find the differences
The husband is often found in the projection of the father, these two figures, in the perception of women, interwoven into one. If father was brutal – husband is perceived…

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