How to separate from my parents or why I don't live the way I want
Emotional separation from parents sometimes requires serious work on themselves in adulthood. About why it is important to separate from parents, what to do with guilt and how to find…

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A life that wasn't meant for me
What can you do for me? What does life look like that I can live? What is my measure of well-being and happiness? What is my "share" and what is…

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12 ways to forgive grievances parents
Do I need to talk to my parents about the past? And what if they deny everything? How to forgive a deceased parent and is it possible to discern in…

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Parents

Happy family model: where to get it?

The ability to model, imitate, adopt the skills of other people is one of the basic skills of any person. Let us remember how a small child learns: he watches. He carefully watches what mom or dad does, and it does not matter what it is: cooking, talking on the phone, joint “gatherings” in the evening or silent games in offense.

The child in this case is not much different from the alien, who was sent to the planet Earth with some special and responsible mission. The kid can not yet assess what is happening. He actively records the information coming from the outside and, having accumulated it enough, without much thought, begins to implement the learned patterns of behavior in life, that is, trying to repeat what mom or dad recently did.

And if simple enough or “vyzhivatelnogo” skills manifest themselves immediately, like a child soon says the words, mom puts the phone to his ear, imitating the intonation of parents and cartoon characters, others, not such necessary qualities are manifested much later. Continue reading

“Pregnant together”: how to survive nine months and not get divorced

Advice from a family psychologist for those whose marital relationship is being tested by pregnancy.

Relationships in a couple – a complex process and sometimes confusing, and if the couple decided to get offspring, then there is no special attention to communication, understanding the feelings and emotions of each other can not do.

Why family conflicts escalate
Remember the wonderful movie “Junior” with Schwarzenegger in the title role? Reconsider! A healthy, physically strong and emotionally balanced character Arnold cried like a child because of the sentimental little things. The Director and writers managed to fully reflect and convey the emotional state of the pregnant woman in a playful and careful manner, inviting the man to change roles and survive these “terrible” States. It’s funny to see how a strong man needed a woman to take care of him.

Pregnancy strengthens all processes and “pain points” of the personality.

Despite the fact that pregnancy can be a long-awaited, planned or natural continuation of the relationship, it does not take away from her truly phenomenal nature. Continue reading

“Why didn’t you leave me?!”Notes of the psychotherapist

My wife and I haven’t slept together in 8 years. – He said he jumped into the hole. Almost there. Apparently, long leader was coming with the spirit of, to come. It happens. Tall, thin, about fifty years old, athletic, with an indelible stamp of intelligence on his face. In the history, most likely, high-tech, tennis, Bicycle or skiing. My grandmother used to say “Interesting man.”

– She… good woman. Okay, I guess. We have grown children. She’s just not interested. I mean, sex, you know? Can be, unpalatable even. I can’t even hug her. So, sometimes the old memory will be pulled, and its as much cringe. Not much, but it shows. At times like this, I almost feel like a rapist. And goon somehow. Man doesn’t want to, I do… But how can you not want eight years?! Here you are a woman, tell me, can so many years to do without intimacy?

Uh, what am I supposed to tell him? No, no? Is it inhuman? I do not understand how you can live eight years side by side with a man without hugs, without kisses, without sex? Without making a couple a couple, not roommates. But this is my experience, not his or his wife’s. Continue reading

Marriage of convenience: the truth about a relationship without feelings
Is there any sense in a marriage of convenience in contemporary reality? On this topic argues Gestalt therapist Andrew Yudin. There is such an interesting phenomenon in psychology: human stereotypes…

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Beliefs that shape co-dependence
I remembered a distant childhood. Anything I say ideas, opinions, views, objections close ended met with "what you know...", "you're a baby, you warthog". I felt devalued and humiliated, ashamed…

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Invisible girl, or Cigarettes in exchange for mom's love
Deaf, stupid, impotent rage covered Olga with a concrete slab. Can't breathe, can't get enough air. How tired she was of all these papers, people, negotiations, endless parental "need", "we…

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Mom doesn't have (memo adult children)
Separation is not a one-sided process, but often we (and I too) talk a lot about parents who are not ready, can not, keep, do not let go. About mothers…

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