Home comfort – it's not scrubbed floors, and scrubbed from the beliefs of the head
Such words I heard from my husband, in response to accusations that he does not appreciate my efforts to maintain the household. It was at the very beginning of our…

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Family vampires: one controls, the other sabotages
I'm sure it's really very hard and unpleasant, when you are used as a trash can for the disposal of negative emotions. And in his own home. But what does…

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Psychological problems of marriage
As you know, "all happy families are similar to each other, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." So how do happy families resemble each other? And so…

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Parents

What is the crisis of marriage institution and what it eats

Tons of classical literature and kilometers of film melodramatic films created the illusion of great and pure love, which certainly ends in marriage and further “they lived happily ever after.” And although recent Hollywood movies (not only Arthouse) are beginning to put in the center of the plot the most mysterious thing that follows after the phrase “they lived happily ever after”, in the collective unconscious is strong idea of the ideal “spherical horse in a vacuum”, an ideal marriage that “everyone except me”.

Someone believes that “Romeo and Juliet”, a story about the love-hormonal fever of two 14 – year-olds, which five days after their acquaintance ended in a double suicide, is about love. Someone envious sighs, reviewing for the umpteenth time the movie “Pretty woman” about an insecure man incapable of emotional contact, trying to remove their alarm using a control (money + power) over a known-vulnerable partner.

Yes, of course, a movie or a book about a calm, trusting, open relationship would be boring. Passions and intrigue to experience more interesting. And let it be so, then there are stories. But these images people are beginning seek and in life and disappointed, that unicorns, it turns out, not there is. Continue reading

Husband and father. Find the differences

The husband is often found in the projection of the father, these two figures, in the perception of women, interwoven into one. If father was brutal – husband is perceived intolerant and evil. If the father did not give something, in the husband, first of all, greed is seen. If the father was estranged, and the husband and wife case no.

In General, the relationship with his father is about prospects, success in life, about relationships with men, about financial prosperity. Question: who is your father, means, ultimately, who are you?

On consultation the woman “for forty”, tells that at the husband pneumonia, the ambulance took away it to hospital, on her face tears flow… I sympathize, but, to my surprise, it turns out that the reason of her crying not fears for health of the husband, she grieves for the father who died a year ago.

Wiping tears and sobbing, the woman tells the circumstances of her birth. That the father wanted a son and was disappointed by the appearance of his daughter. And that after she was born, he left home for two weeks. And mom thought he’d never come back. Continue reading

The art of raising a slave

Have you noticed that adults often treat children as an uncomfortable object, which greatly complicates their parental existence? Like an annoying fly that you have to fend off, like a little villain that you have to deal with at all costs and who, in turn, only thinks how to make our lives unbearable… As if we are talking about the fact that we are all angels who understand, and they are worthless imperfections that it is important to make convenient for their own use. Yes, true, and not for use. So… if only not interfered…

And not to interfere it is necessary to create a clear code-what is and what is not, what is good for the child and what is bad. Hence-a huge number of adult statements, beginning with the words “the child should”. Must understand, must eat, must learn, must know, must respect. Must, Must and must.

You agree? And you look at the parent forums. And compare them… medieval advice for the upbringing of a slave.

I read: “judging by the description, your three-year-old daughter is already a very depraved girl. If she is unable to meet the demands of adults, something must be done about it. The best thing that came up with our ancestors – of course, spanking” (three smileys). Continue reading

Happy family model: where to get it?
The ability to model, imitate, adopt the skills of other people is one of the basic skills of any person. Let us remember how a small child learns: he watches.…

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Cheating and 5 needs in marriage
Adultery is a marker, a symptom of an unhappy marriage. Adultery can talk about the unmet needs of spouses in marriage. Without getting something in the family, the spouse is…

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"Why didn't you leave me?!"Notes of the psychotherapist
My wife and I haven't slept together in 8 years. – He said he jumped into the hole. Almost there. Apparently, long leader was coming with the spirit of, to…

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Beliefs that shape co-dependence
I remembered a distant childhood. Anything I say ideas, opinions, views, objections close ended met with "what you know...", "you're a baby, you warthog". I felt devalued and humiliated, ashamed…

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