The art of raising a slave
Have you noticed that adults often treat children as an uncomfortable object, which greatly complicates their parental existence? Like an annoying fly that you have to fend off, like a…

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Formula of love for prisoners of marriage
Have you ever thought about the beautiful phrase" Marriages are made in heaven", the key word "are made"? "Prisoner – a person who is in the place of detention, in…

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How to explain to mom that you don't want to get married: instructions
The good news is that we can close this unpleasant topic once and for all. The bad news is that you have to grow up very quickly, and – surprise!…

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Stress

Diagnosis: depreciation. How to live?

The idea of this article hovered in the air for a long time, supported by doubts and non-existent grievances. Increasingly, I began to pull out of the context of “do not worry” and “Yes, it’s not worth it”, “come on, nothing special”, “everyone happens”. It’s about depreciation.

The most classic examples of this disease can be seen on the Playground:

– Mom, look what my castle turned out!
– Are you sure it’s a castle? More like a dead dinosaur.
(depreciation of actions)

– Dad, I belloooo aaiei I parayil palcic!
– Well, okay, you’re a kid or is that something different?
(devaluation of emotions)

Not far gone and school: Continue reading

Do not want or can not: why do adult children stay with their parents?

We often see the codependence of adult children and their parents. The first can not become independent, find themselves and be realized in society. The second instead of personal life trying in their own way to arrange the lives of children. In the end – both are unhappy.

On the one hand, we have decided to laugh at the 40-year-old bachelors living with their parents. On the other hand, there is a favorite of millions in the post-Soviet space from irony of fate. He demonstrates a symbiosis of amazing power with his elderly mother. Living with her all his life, his brides, and not steamed :).

On the one hand, all look down on the old maidens, who after 35 remain in my mother’s apartment. On the other – full of positive cinematic stories about old maids, recall, for example, a school teacher (the well-known film Raikin, as he saved his old teacher from two displaces it from the apartment of the goons).

What do we have as a result? Total codependence of adult children and their parents. The first can not become independent, find themselves and be realized in society. The second – instead of personal life all trying in their own way to arrange the lives of children. In the end, neither are happy. Continue reading

I do not like who I live with, how I live, and the future that awaits me

Writes me Tatiana:

Olga, good afternoon.

Please analyze your situation and state of mind.

I am 32 years old, married 10 years, child 4 years. There are all the attributes of a prosperous and happy life, and I’m not happy.

Married went without love, was much sympathy and I hoped, that love will come over time. What prompted me to make such a step unrequited love for another. The process of “lapping characters” was not easy. But as a result, we have developed a trusting relationship. Although the passion they had. A child was born, and as often happens, I looked at my husband with a new look. Before me stood a real man with all the advantages and disadvantages. I was aware before that that we are different: different upbringing, views, sense of humor. Often I was hurt or ashamed by his words and actions. But I tried to drown out those feelings and ignore them. Now, all these points have escalated. Continue reading

Dreams of a "normal family". Two sides of the same model
Where do they come from these dreams of an ideal family? From childhood? But not the fact that you would like to live the way your parents lived. Probably the…

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Loyalty to your family. How does it affect our lives?
Loyalty is one of the most powerful forces that affect a person's personality and life. Any relationship is based on mutual loyalty of people to each other. To be accepted,…

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My mother always said...
In a sense, every family is a little Prim England with its own traditions. They can relate to relationships, leisure, life... Tried and tested by generations, such rules simplify life.…

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Aging relatives. The tragedy of time
Aging is a multidimensional process, but more often the focus is on the medical aspect of late-age changes. However, for family members, the aging of relatives is a much more…

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