Part 1. Lyrical
She calls her mother every day – morning and evening. She is the woman of a little over thirty, successfully (happily?) married, with two educations, now on maternity leave. She has a husband and a little daughter who love her and expect love from her.
She calls her mother hoping to hear from her that she loves her, thinks about her, hear just warm words of support, so necessary to her now. But in response she hears only the now familiar criticism, evaluation, instruction. Mom on the phone regularly tells her what a bad hostess she is, a useless mother, an ungrateful daughter.
She listens to all of this, then cries. Crying quietly, to no one in my family noticed her tears. But she keeps calling anyway. She hopes that her mother will ever change and tell her those words that she so long expected of her. She does not notice that there are two people who want her attention, love and warmth: husband and daughter. Continue reading
The idea of this article hovered in the air for a long time, supported by doubts and non-existent grievances. Increasingly, I began to pull out of the context of “do not worry” and “Yes, it’s not worth it”, “come on, nothing special”, “everyone happens”. It’s about depreciation.
The most classic examples of this disease can be seen on the Playground:
– Mom, look what my castle turned out!
– Are you sure it’s a castle? More like a dead dinosaur.
(depreciation of actions)
– Dad, I belloooo aaiei I parayil palcic!
– Well, okay, you’re a kid or is that something different?
(devaluation of emotions)
Not far gone and school: Continue reading
Emotional separation from parents sometimes requires serious work on themselves in adulthood.
About why it is important to separate from parents, what to do with guilt and how to find a “Golden mean”, says psychologist and trauma therapist Ksenia Wittenberg.
Relationship with parents is a problem for most
About a third of all client requests are about relationships with parents.
Forces withstand this truth, to agree with his drama and to accept its as part of its history. And stop to demand the lost love and care or compensation for the suffering. This is the process of separation.
Begins, usually with such those:
After my mother’s call, I spend half the day depressed, digesting.
Why does she have to put me down as soon as I get better? Continue reading